Fun was had with both sides of the family. Dan started having headaches - figured his head was having a hard time finding places to put the 5 volumes of information studying required. In April 2009 we had our 5th anniversary! WooHoo! Since I wasn't pregnant or nursing (can I get another woohoo) we decided to have some fun. We went theme park hopping! We started off at Six Flags. Hardly any lines, we got to ride everything wanted and a few things multiple times. We had lots of fun but by the end of the day it was a few too many loops for Dan's head. Then it was off to California Adventure and finally Disneyland. I love Disney - I'd go there if only to eat. It's a celiac's dream. Pizza, burgers . . . I almost feel like a normal human being. Anyway, again - lots & lots of fun. Only complaint - a ride we waited for hours on broke down & we didn't get to ride it. We also missed the fireworks which made me kinda sad. Oh well, still fun. Though if we were to do it again I'd do it in reverse order. Love Disney, but the rides don't compare after Six Flags.
Next comes June 2009 - TEST TIME!! CFA Level 1 was on. I think I had enough butterflies in my tummy for the both of us. It didn't help that Dan's headaches were getting worse & he was having some vision issues. He got a blessing before heading up to the test - which really was, well, a blessing. Dan said that his vision and mind were perfectly clear for the test. He really felt confident about the test - or so he said. Though, the headaches returned a short time after the test finished.
I'm not sure which came first - not that it really matters - but we got 2 test results around the same time. 1) HE PASSED!! First try & Dan passed level 1 of the CFA! WooHoo! 2) Our 3rd little munchikin was on the way - a bit earlier than expected but still welcome news. I wish I could say things got easier from here, but I'd be lying. Hold onto your hats we're in for a bumpy ride . . .
I almost instantly became sick - completely, horribly, can't keep anything down sick. I started getting sharp abdominal pains & became terribly worried about our newest little bean. I'm not one to go to Urgent Care or the ER or anything but when it came to making sure my baby was okay that's exactly where I found myself - first to Urgent Care, then whisked to the ER. Good news - I had a perfectly healthy 7 week old wiggler. Bad news - she was making me so sick that unless I stayed medicated I'd find myself in the ER more often needing fluids. So medication it was. The first medication didn't take. The second medication kinda took, but I needed quite a bit to keep enough down. So much so that I was told that it might be better if I wasn't watching my other 2 because the medication might make me so loopy that I wouldn't be able to properly care for them. You know, the kind of stuff every mother loves to hear :/. Good news - I was coherent enough that I could care for the girls when I needed to, but it did make me very drowsy. There were also some wonderful ladies from church that were really there to help me out. Needless to say, my book writing was to be on hold for the time being.
We truly had a bouncing baby. By 11wks she could already be seen pushing on my belly & also showing favoritism - to Dan. We were watching So You Think You Can Dance one night (yes me & Dan) and it was the Vegas week episode where that girl's ankle totally pops out. Anyway, right then the side on my tummy jerked right to bump Dan. He jumped a little and said "Your stomach just looked like her foot!" That was the start of baby preferring Daddy. By 13wks anytime I was around Dan my belly would pull in his direction. It was like magnets I tell you. At 13wks we were also given some other news. We were told not to take the tags off anything, but it looked like we were headed for a trio of girls. I don't know who was sadder - Dan or Isabelle. Isabelle kept saying she already had a sister & that she was supposed to have a baby brother. Me, I like girls. I know what to do with girls. Near the end of my first trimester the girls and I took a mini vacation up at my parents. It was a big help as I stepped off the medication then too. Around this time the pukiness was tapering off & I was looking forward to a 2nd trimester reprieve. Unfortunately, there would be no reprieves this year.
Dan's headaches started getting worse. He'd often go off by himself & I wouldn't know what was going on. Later I would learn he was having seizures in his left arm. I wish I could say that was the scariest thing that happened, but it's not. Dan was having an episode one night and passed out in Maddy bedroom while we were putting her to bed. It was scaring Maddy that daddy was just laying there so I did what any irrational 17 weeks pregnant woman would do - I dragged him out of her room and shut the door. Then I ran downstairs, grabbed a container of chopped garlic, and held it under his nose until he woke up. It didn't take long for him to wake up but he was still unable to move - and I was unable to move him. The worst part, I was cramping - bad. As anyone, like me, who has had preterm labor before would understand it was a terrifying moment. So, I did what I did many times in my pregnancy with Maddy - I downed some water, got in bed, & prayed. My kids were asleep, my husband was barely conscious, and I couldn't very well leave them even if I could drive myself to the hospital. So prayer it was. I can't begin to tell you how helpless I felt and how urgently I prayed that I wouldn't lose our little jumping bean. Prayer works.
In October I had another ultrasound - there was a pool of blood on baby's brain that we'd need to keep an eye on. Also, it was confirmed - girl #3 was heading our way. A week later Dan was in the ER. That's the funny part - probably of the whole year. Finding out that he's having 3 girls sends Dan to the ER (not really, but it's still funny to say). And the scariness continues. Bunch of tests & whatnot show something on Dan's brain. They aren't sure what exactly it is, but they are thinking it's an aneurysm. Okay, saying you're going to have an aneurysm - especially at the prospect of having 3 girls - used to be funny. Possibly facing one - not so much. After a few days (and many tests that Dan can tell the story of I'm sure) in the hospital Dan's released (I still think they are idiots for doing that, but whatever) - it's an avm or a ccm or something. They aren't positive about a dang thing, but they are letting him go anyway. This is where 2 other people come into our lives - Dr. Butrous (the neurologist) and Dr. Hsu (the neurosurgeon) because those are his two options - medicate the symptoms (migraines and seizures) or take it out. Dan opts to medicate because, well, I'm pregnant & brain surgery is scary stuff. Again, brain surgery - something that's funny to joke about but when you're actually facing it, not so much. We also learned, courtesy of Dr. Hsu, that it was a cavernous angioma which wasn't an immediate threat. That at least made the decision a little easier for the time being. The scary part of that diagnosis was that it does bleed (in "little leaks"), it's genetic, & baby's pooling of blood on the brain wasn't clearing up.
So Dan plays the medication game - because it really is a guessing game of what medication combination and dosage will work best for what patient. Some really didn't work out for Dan - some knocked him out cold all day. As much as it sucked, it was what we had to do because my pregnancy was about to take another loop.
The day before Thanksgiving was my first full fledged, send me to Labor and Delivery, shoot me up with terbutaline, and keep this baby from coming episode at 25 weeks (side note, this happened for the first time with Maddy at 26 weeks). Good news - they were able to stop her from coming. Bad news - I was supposed to be on bedrest "as much as possible." I have 2 kids "as much as possible" isn't really possible. Plus, I wasn't about to let this damper my black friday shopping. I know, I know, I can be a thickheaded idiot sometimes.
A week later was another one of the scarier times in the 2009 saga. I had just finished putting Isabelle & Maddy down for afternoon naps when the familiar cramping started again - every 10 minutes. Dan was still in Irvine at work so I grabbed a glass of water and hit the couch. Within an hour they were every 5-6 minutes. I messaged Dan. I was scared. Even if he left right then he wouldn't get home for an hour or so. I needed help right then. I needed 2 people actually - one to stay with my sleeping kids & one to take me to the hospital. We tried to think of who might possibly be available in the middle of the day to help us. Meanwhile, they got to every 2-3 minutes apart. You know that terrifying feeling I had at 17 weeks along? It was back. You know how our prayer was answered back then? It was again, though not in the same way. This time, it was a knock at the door. Two women from church had shown up to see what they might be able to figure out in terms of help for me while I was on bedrest. I'm sure they didn't expect to be flung into helping out, but when I couldn't so much as talk to them they sprang into action. One stayed with the girls and the other drove me to the hospital.
I messaged Dan about what happened & he headed right to the hospital as soon as he could. A few shots of terbutaline later, I was headed back home with a prescription of terbutaline, strict bedrest orders, and twice weekly visits with the high risk OB from my pregnancy with Maddy. Yea :/. At least our little girl was still baking and seemed to take my preterm labor episodes in stride. We came home to a mowed lawn, a clean house, the laundry done, and our girls fed and in bed for the night. I never expected to see anything but my girls alive and well. It was truly a humbling experience. I'd experience many more humbling moments as the members of our ward pitched in during the coming months to shoulder the care of Isabelle and Maddy while I was down. I can't begin to express the love I have for them. Also, we get our first bit of good news - baby's bleeding on the brain is gone! WooHoo!
December comes with Christmas & a few Christmas surprises. Let me preface the first one by saying that Dan & I don't agree on girl names. We have 2 boy names all picked out, but girl names are a battle. I was campaigning heavily for the name Claire - Claire Elise to be exact. Also, I was due March 5th with a c-section at the end of February. Christmas morning Dan hands me a package - inside there's another package. The tag to that package reads: "To: Mommy From: Claire Elise." That was enough to get me teared up, but inside was the kicker. A necklace with a purple heart - the February birthstone. It was the reminder that we were going to get through this - we were going to make it to February & have a healthy baby. I needed that reminder as I took another hospital trip a couple days later.
Time passed, medication was upped on both sides, January was a struggle but we got through it. We began to look forward to the arrival of Claire Elise Hosford. Dan and our friend Scott worked on getting Claire's room ready (it turned out beautiful by the way). The medication was becoming less and less effective for stopping my contractions and my OB was confident that once I stopped them I would just go into labor & I'd have my repeat c-section. Dan was hoping that it wouldn't happen until February 15th. The logic? She won't be allowed to date until she's 16 - that way her first date would have to be after Valentine's Day. My OB's response - I'd have to stand on my head to make it that long. The plan was to take my first pill (3am or so) on February 12th, when the contractions were 10 minutes apart head to the hospital. He expected to see us at 10am on the 12th for a repeat c-section. At this point I was skeptical that anything would go as planned.
So February 12th came. I took my last pill at 3am as planned. Bags were packed, everything was ready, it was just a matter of getting things in motion. I was in the shower at 6am when the first contraction hit - right when my next pill was due. Still, I didn't know how close together they would be and I had other things on my mind - our master bath hadn't been cleaned in months. Hardheaded idiot, remember? Well they never were 10 minutes apart - they started at 6 minutes apart. Still I was determined to get our bathroom clean. Plus in some warped area of my mind I wasn't convinced they were going to stick around. We left for the hospital - after the bathroom was cleaned.
I'll preface the next part by saying pregnant women in labor are not always rational and on occasion delusional. I am no exception. We dropped off Isabelle and Maddy at our friends the Tafts house (their house is now Isabelle & Maddy's second home. We love the Tafts) and I received a blessing. The only part I remember of it - it said I'd be holding our little girl in my arms that night. From there we headed to the hospital. The next isn't my finest moment. I had a breakdown in the hospital parking lot. I couldn't feel the contractions anymore - I was just in pain. In my mind (see delusional), I wasn't in labor - I couldn't feel individual contractions anymore so how could I be? I made Dan let me walk from the car to the hospital entrance. I must have looked pretty bad. There was one wheelchair and they were about to give it to someone who had collapsed just inside the door. Instead, they put that person in a seat in the waiting room and gave me the wheelchair. At that point, I was still trying to understand why.
I got checked in at labor and delivery (at 10am just like the OB expected), got a room, and was about to change into a hospital gown. That's when the contractions knocked me on my butt - literally. Hooked up to the monitors, it showed them coming every 2 minutes - and I nearly ripped the sheets every 2 minutes because they HURT. The nurse was pissed that I hadn't come in sooner since it was a repeat c-section. Terbutaline shot #1 - stopped them for a little bit but they came back. Terbutaline shot #2 - stopped them for less time. Terbutaline shot #3 - was laughable, good thing I was already being prepped for surgery.
Claire Elise Hosford was born at 2:12pm on 2/12/10 weighing 5lbs 13oz and 18 inches long. She took to nursing and I was relieved that I had gotten her out of me alive. For a moment I could breathe again, but we weren't out of the woods with her yet.
Claire was mildly jaundice and at 3 days was down to 5lbs 3oz. I was under orders to feed her every 3hrs at least, but was still on track to go home with her that night. She was sleeping as I was packing up our things when I noticed she was breathing funny - it was raspy & sounded really labored. I pressed the nurse call button and asked for a nurse to come. I waited & listened & heard the scariest thing yet - it stopped. I opened the door & yelled out of the room for a nurse. The series of events after that was pretty blurry - but it ended with a bulb syringe down her throat sucking out the spit up that she had choked on. Then the nurses proceeded to tell me that I should have called them sooner - I guess the call button doesn't count?
She came home - barely big enough to fit in her car seat. The first night was rough. Claire was freaking out almost the entire night. I was healing so getting out of bed was difficult to begin with. The topper, Dan having seizures - the full body kind - whenever Claire cried. What's a new mommy to do? I'm pretty sure I did plenty of crying myself that night too. At 4 days Claire had dropped to 5lbs 1.5oz and was still a little jaundice so I was told to try giving her some formula. She's my first baby ever to refuse a bottle.
Don't know what possessed me - and if I'm ever in this situation again I won't do it - but we went to Home Depot the day after I got home from the hospital, even after that horrible night. 2 things happened. 1) I was in pain. I thought my staples were going to fall out & my incision was going to rip open. 2) I had to nurse in public for the first time - ever. Yes, nursing in public with a 4 day old on a bench outside the bathrooms at Home Depot. Probably the last thing anyone thought they would see when heading there. Anyway, moving on.
Claire had a choking episode at night (more than one but it is the most memorable) she turned blue. I'm very grateful Dan could hear that something was wrong because I was so tired I was dead to the world. That's the night we decided that sleeping on her back wasn't going to be safe enough. I diligently carried that bulb syringe with us everywhere. I wasn't about to lose her after all we had gone through to get her here.
Long story a little less long, she's doing wonderful. Gaining weight & growing strong. Isabelle still wishes she were a boy and sometimes pulls Claire's ears out & says she looks like a boy. Claire has been affectionately named our perfectionist. She won't let us see that she can do something until she can do it well (though if you sneak a peek you can see her doing it in her bed). She can roll, crawl, sit, and has started pulling up. She just started trying to stand up by herself in the middle of the floor. She'll be 7 months tomorrow. Her sisters & parents love her dearly & we're so happy to have her in our family (even though she was screaming most of the evening just now - stupid teeth).
Our story isn't over, but I'm afraid I'll have to cut it short for now. I'll shoot for part 2 tomorrow.
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